Daydreams

This is why I tried to write a business plan. I want to be my own boss of my parallel import sporting firm, importing football training systems and American basketball sporting goods, especially those Under Armour compression and basketball shoe lines. I even designed questions to support marketing and promotional decisions - this is why I did tons of surveys. it can be better refined.

I know my destiny will still be one of 'failure'. I know it. My father has dreams of being a geologist, crushed because of familial pressures for him to 'do anything', which happens to be his current line of work. 40 years later, same old story. But different twist - I have a condition he doesn't has.

My parents knew my plans and decried me as daydreaming. They said they are getting older, and they want me to stop whatever I want and just do what they want.
 

I would rather be unemployed as fuck (mind my words but I say what I mean) than to toil my time where I cannot give a middle finger salute under any dick shit situation that it is really needed. Don't accountants have to give a true and fair statement of financial accounts and affairs? (Well... even if you say whatever you want, while other people go 'money money money', 'fame fame fame' or 'dreams dreams dreams', I am still going 'family' and 'acceptance by in-group' as I can't get the first three.)

I have to honestly say, I would rather fail so that I can be a great intellectual with the shiny PhD from some research intensive university in Saudi or UAE, than to be a decent person in my parents' plan. Or...

I cannot fulfil my dream as a researcher in the Arts/Social Sciences especially in English or Geography or Sociology, because of... I cannot do Psychology because I was literally forced to withdraw out of someone else's wishes, even though I chose Psychology. I am forced to abort job search and business plan writing and I have to do something I know I can never be great at.